If This Is Goodbye Poem by Danny Speicher

If This Is Goodbye

You are only one short mile away
May as well be the distance to the moon
Because you told me to leave while you stayed
My heart in the impact of a typhoon

Every day; each and every night
I will find myself driving toward you
But, then I remember you took flight
My mind simply doesn't know what to do

I miss your sweet voice so much that I cry
The way you looked at me when you smiled
The absence of this makes me want to die
My very love being put on trial

If I could take back the words that I said
I would do it in a moment's time
But, now, our communication is dead
Oh, if I could turn us back on a dime

The tone that I spoke to you on that day
Was so much more aggressive than I meant
While I thought I felt you drifting away
So, I Looked back… We weren't in descent

And god, sweetheart, please try and forgive me
Trying to corner you into talking
Is an act I won't be able to flee
So sick that it felt so close to stalking

While all of that at the end was so sick
I'll not forgive myself for what I've done
No blame if you think me a lunatic
And never can trust me as a loved one

But, before you leave my life for forever
I want to tell you what was always true
I knew we should be attached forever
How I never ever meant to hurt you

How I could draw the freckles on your face
Closing my eyes and seeing the markings
Like constellations I know I could trace
And by these specked stars I thought I'd embark

I never lied when I said I loved you
Did everything in my power to prove
That when I said I loved you it was true
Everyday I sought for us to improve

Didn't lie about anything to you
Because I'm a truly horrible bluff
Also, to you, I wanted to be true
But, in the end, it just wasn't enough

I thought, together, we'd weather the storms
I we could learn to have serious talks
And our friendship could be, again, reformed
But, for now, I sit and I watch the clock

But, if this, now, is goodbye forever
I leave you the most encouraging charge
I wish you all joy; and sadness, never
Nearly as important, I hope you recharge

I pray you and Izzy become closer
And that your visitation times increase
I pray you'll ignore all your opposers
That your drive for her never decreases

But, more than anything I leave you this
I pray you'll find a grand purpose and plan
I pray you'll hit more targets than misses
And can harness what was when we began

In closing, know that I am proud of you
As you are slowly making forward moves
And that every day will bring joy anew
If you're scared, call me and you I'll remove

Goodbye, Freckles, and all the best to you
Sorry I failed you; hate how we ended
My love will undoubtedly remain true
And I pray, someday 'us' will be mended

((February 17th,2025))

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