idling spiders, 
fiddling legs, 
when do they sleep? 
><><
Excerpts from Covid Journal: 
I have been reading zen much up here, not doing enough sitting but for these walking meditations of sorts, cheating of course, my course of meditation is 'cheating zen'... the most import zen... is orthoproxy, or, practice, but/and there is much recenty read and repeated in text enough about 'polishing mirrors', that and the bright sun obscuring face, not even MY face but just 'face' or parts with one left eye tracing the left hand path I've much in life taken (cuz force and temperament) . 
There's teaching everywhere. Some of it a ponderance and other such as shake clothes and sheets and towels and such before use since winter spiders love to idlely spider there (idling spiders, fiddling legs, when do they sleep?) . And having suffered a severe spider bite some years ago, the craterous skin rot rotting in perfect concentricities, spectrum of colored putrifactions, fascinating to watch slowly devour perfectly good skin, pock full of the stench of beauty and enlightenment or opposite but as they say all doors lead or in this case all pores cede, that's one zen lesson I do not want nor again need. 
Some weeks later, spring snow and freeze, old knees resisting zen, prayer too. Rekiah's nephew is here renovating old house so the place shakes and vibrates with hammer and saw scrapes of heavy old stuff to be replaced with heavy new stuff so's psoas's sore me below ground floor down in here inhering pine knot plank plotch catch all or most dusts the mouse/rat/chipmunk dung the plaster the fiberglass o let this cup pass Lord of Ghosted critters-occupants-seven snake skins entwine water pipes cool wet I guess for snakes need so evidence speaks dark hiding nooks with food rodents 
close by old bones and 
fur fall into shower stall 
'ankledeep in damage 
though she 
dances...'1 
three days 
before the 
pipes broke-since 
from frozen 
a'toilet I sat 
read the castings tea leaves an old 
constipated sage squozen scrieing 
fallen oracle bones and fur - spiders 
too what butoh walk leg by leg by 
leg by leg by leg by leg to what purpose 
there on the plasticine stall floor/ 
wall not sure but am sure that the 
dead flies of winter go uneaten/unsucked 
Spider first days here I spoke to every morning 
from the john me wondering at its slow slow 
movements for 3 days till 4th its legs all curled 
tucked tightly beneath its carapace I blow at it 
from the cold seat - bunched draws round my 
colder ankles it budges not at all I realize it is 
deceased legs uniformly creased a beauty to 
see first time ever've felt remorse for a bug a 
spider and once cleaned flushed 
my pajamas 
up I gently 
lift Spider up with toilet paper so soft 
double ply-ed solomnly march spider on 
bier so soft softly into still harder winter 
snow and darker woods Middle-March flip 
flops no socks slow going find a rock up 
near the woodshed so place Spider there 
with oddest prayer ever in my life but Lord 
Buddha helps re: 'all sentient beings' 
etcetera etcetera que sera OK 
so perform brief bone chill rites then slide down 
path patch to my ground floor entrance to hot 
shower then to Hopkins' poem - The Windhover 
the more meaningful than ever for its 
'dappled-dawn-drawn' things or rather 
substituted or addendum-ed pray ponder 
'threaded-sewn-moaned' things strangely 
mourned actual tears born no doubt of 
projections upon small cringes majestically 
formed objectively perceived from secret 
sightless spaces suspended cocooned 
in darkness or once in close woods of 
August last 
there strung 
they were 
and purled 
pearled between 
limbs beneath trunks 
amid ferns spun and 
nettle no rattle 
click no ears but 
work they away 
faint stray among 
leaves 
echoes caught 
where spider tufts 
sough claw intimate 
sleights fragile 
were filament 
traced strands 
taut there seasonal 
a webbed kingdom 
made 
'a first unfallen church it might have been.'2 
*** 
1 & 2 - lines of Nathaniel Mackey's 
from his 'Song of the Andoumboulo                
 
                    This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
 
                    