I Wished Upon A Star One Day Comments

Daer Katy, this poem would be a beautiful one if it wasn't so monotonous.You made it so by the repetition of 'I wished upon a star one day' every second line. As a result, this poem loses its essence somewhere.Why don't you go back to it and try to express your feeling in more various way? The first line its very beautiful :) . When it comes, to the conclusion..it's a real surprise, but I guess the one that would disappoint the reader a little. Why do the subject suddenly feels 'nothing'? What's the reason for him/her to feel a kind of emptiness? Please, work on it, if you feel you can :) Good luck :)

Katy, I know that you are trying hard to sell it, BUT, there is no sale here! No one sells a lot of nothing... without a lot of feeling!

to come to the end and find you feel nothing, maybe you should wish to feel something.