I Tried To Hang Myself Poem by Loyd C Taylor Sr

Yesterday, I tried to hang myself.

Now, before you judge me or allow your thoughts to run wild, let me take a moment to explain what happened.

I know when you hear statements such as 'I tried to hang myself, ' it could only spell disaster, but please hear my story first.

I had just stepped out of the shower and was hurrying to get dressed to start my busy day.

The phone rang. My wife answered it. She called out, informing me that I had an important long-distance call from a very distinguished friend. Not wanting to waste my minutes or go through the trouble of calling him back, I motioned for her to talk to him and give me a few more seconds.

I was rushing so much that I tried to put two feet into the same pant leg, almost falling on my nose! Then I grabbed my shirt from the closet, quickly slipping it over my head.

That's when it happened!

I failed to realize that I had not removed the hanger from the shirt and now had it stuck into my mouth and nose.

In between my wife's snorts of laughter, I heard her trying to explain to my important caller what was going on. Before I could stop her, I heard her say; 'Oh my goodness, Loyd has just tried to hang himself! '

I could hear the laughter coming from inside the phone from over 800 miles away.

They say confession is good for the soul and you know, though humiliated, I do feel so much better now. Thank you for listening.

As Paul Harvey would say, 'Now you know the rest of the story.'