I saw a light.
As I slowly came out of my
depressing state of mind,
shackled and wasted years of bondage.
...
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Hi Aileen, I am introduced to your poetry only today. This is the first poem of yours that I read. And I loved it. When you look at the eyes of a child, the innocence that sparkles in those eyes transforms you, transports you to another etherial world. Great work. May be, as you have remarked, it might need a little editing. Pl do that. I would love to read more of your poems. And of course, would come back here for a re. Congrats and Thanks for sharing.
They were the eyes of a child They shine down upon me as I appeared. Those eyes shined down upon me… of this I’m sure. Just like I have no doubts that clouds travel through time and space. As this lovingly child stared at me with its beautiful light eyes I felt warmth and peace. A beautiful vision which inspires to a new life. wonderful description of your great experience. thank you dear poetess. tony
I reached the surfaces and took my first breath. Staring into the twinkling stars of the night, I’m naked. Painfully purging releasing my pass............................. heart when vociferates newness to fresh up, joy bounces to hold breath of light yet moment spurs to reel through creation compelling and ingenious to merge through
Children are saw inspiring. And you have captured this very fact with inimitable poetic vividness and skill. Kudos!
You noted you wrote this ON A LAZY SUNDAY but there is not a trace of that mood of origin. This poem is a-l-i-v-e with energy and faith, the energy shows in the language describing the LIGHT, the faith in the vision of a divine child. This poem will have long life: when you're down it will bring you up; when you're up it will tell you why you feel so good.How many poems can do this? Not many.
I reached the surfaces and took my first breath. Staring into the twinkling stars of the night, I’m naked. Painfully purging releasing my pass. like these lines. it is a complete transformation you are experiencing. it id full hope. you are naked and that means you shed away all that was past. you begin a new life. thank you for presenting such a poem of hope. thank you
Some times dear when emotionally trapped in one's mind for year's as in severe depression if you are lucky enough to come back from the trauma you come back as you were before you went away I encourage you to write as much as you can.. iip
Wonderful poem, Aileen. I applaud those here who post in a 2nd language
Yes it is as usual in a machinery life & if there loneliness to we are going to depression. As you said you may had such experience for years. The new comer enlighted your hope of livingness again Rather than going to modern shameless life to life of certain limitation is good less expectation will leads to more happiness
Very enticing poem, Aileen! Inspires and gives hope to many who will read your poem! Especially loved the 3rd verse! Please keep on writing, enjoyed this poem. Maybe I bit more editing would make it more understandable to others. Thank you for sharing. RoseAnn
This is one of my first poem. Something happen to me when I enter my 50th birthday. All I wanted to do is write. I mean write at every moment and at anytime. If I am driving, I have to stop the car to write something that pops into my head. I have many poems now and short stories. Some don't make no sense but only to me. This poem is one of my favorite. It might need more editing, I hope you can understand it.
Such a lovely poem! This poem, this creation is your child who frees you from the shackles of bondage.