I'M Only Eight…international Day Of Innocent Children,4 June. Comments

If you are going for an american then don't use nicked me glass that's english slang. Listen to some Biggie Smalls, tupac etc, also lil wayne for more recent american street slnag. Also go for less commars in sentences. I would have said she didn't have much to say and and no but next sentence, it's good doesn't need it. She seemed distant, taut. No need for we lost tim etc, it's implied by next line. Back here hitch? Pounding heart i must go, Back here ditch? ? Not sure why you used hitch Don't use Pa or Ma, white trash america. Love the line mom is out there, i'd go for tied to the stake. Implies drugs, prostitution which i believe you were going for. I would also leave out the last two lines. My opinion only. I'm going to read some of your work about your country. You can write. Samantha

dear saadat, a highly emotional and a passionate write, about the young generations problems.their innocense is lost in exposure to a world, not meant for young children to face.yet, it is their world.lovely poemsaadat.best wishes. ritty

'Like the kids, at high school dunk. Pa left us months; for her sake. Now mom is out, there at stake' i like this part! i luv ur poems and this one is very amazing!

Furtively search for the hook. Each side carefully must I look. Is there a cop in my sight? Is there a route for my flight? precious word gift in the form of poems on international day.. lovely write... good presentation.. read mine child, school, and teacher no please....

this is very beautiful writing....

Saadat, Thank you for the message my friend. This poem 'Im only eight' made me cry, the passion in wich you wrote it is simply astounding my friend.I cannot imagine seeing the things you have seen or experincing those things. Please know this poem touched me Deeply i emailed it to my mother, she is in the process of being published. she also said it made her cry. Thank you for sending it to me your friend in poetry Barbie

A thought provoking and some thing need to be at this hours..... let your poem open some doors..........

The 'in your face' colloquial style of your delivery works very powerfully to communicate your disgust for the plight of children neglected by poverty, drugs and appalling parenting. The pity of it is that this eight year old is likely to perpetuate the scenario he has grown up with - he knows nothing else, after all. You speak from some experience, methinks. There is a baldness and honesty about this write. It rings dead true. Great poem. love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

it is very tender write

It’s been months, the hacking cough. Nothing at home but mamas snuff. Li’l Johnnie plastered by a freight What shall I do …I’m only eight! Oh! So good to go thru.....I liked your way of expression...It's so free flowing.....A very contemporary poetry on a very important topic.....Brishti

Its a timely piece of rejoinder - Uprooted trees left to burn Age of toys, toiling. Conflict wounds and kills Minors coiling at mines Kneel down at gunpoint of X Crumbling and sinking, none to feed Sick and dead live together Is there a hope to better? This is a point of Poignant. Melting point...still the head reels Reasons fail to reckon... Why...so? Enjoyed the read. Thank you.

FromAlmedia Knight (Brooklyn United States; Female; 74) To: Saadat Tahir Date Time: 6/13/2009 12: 51: 00 PM (GMT -6: 00) Subject: I'm only eight..International Day of Innocent Children,4 June Hi, I had to bring out all the tools-which I don't have a lot-for reading and understanding this heart-wrenching piece of work in search of the truth that a society's young and old endure- which is a universal truth. This poem interweaves several themes: aggression and or suppression of others or conditions placed upon a people by circumstances beyond their control.By using a freshness of perception (' Each side carefully must I look. Furtively search for the hook' I was quickly caught by these two lines. What striking images were painted by the interweaving of social, economical, and a cultural- good, bad, indifference. Economical usage of language and pleasing rhythms to my ears. Well, doctor, I'm giving you a 10+++. I hope you enjoyed writing this great poem as much as I did reading it! with much Regard Almedia

excellent poetry and very touching

very nice poem Saad really lovely it touchhhhhhhhhhed me -10 anjali

saadat, I agree with Bob and Linda. It is great poetry for a great cause. CP

There are situations in which children who are not mature, are forced to behave like adults and they do not have the necessary force to do this work.Moreover, this situation increases the despair of these children.Suitable poem, Saadat.

How very sad, and, unfortunately, accurate.

This is a very special poem written in the style rap. Our children can be hurt and abused by the substances that are around, as when they suffer from physical abuse. Adult addictions to what they think as pleasure, show by example the way to destroy and unformed life. Parental responsibility is then lost in a world driven by desire for more and more, lost the simplicity of a natural life. Excellent write, I hope its lesson is learned by some at least. Bob Blackwell

you have special talent to present narrative poetry- a graphic portrait of a child, just eight growing up in American ghettos. you are a compassionate man to try visualise their lives under the pathetic circumstances they live in. Even the big apple, a dream country had these black holes. last two lines so heart wrenchinh depicying, frustration, fear, helplessness. The disturbing images will linger and haunt. 10++++ mAMTA

Outstanding poem with children. 10+++ Very touching