International Day of Innocent Children Victims of Aggression,4 June
Furtively search for the hook.
Each side carefully must I look.
Is there a cop in my sight?
Is there a route for my flight?
Maggie just went that a way.
She didn't much, have to say.
But she seemed, distant taut.
Stuck are we in a Latino onslaught.
Three reefers all, she got the glock.
Wish I could turn back the clock.
We lost yank and tim that day.
Got em the cleavers on their way.
Now; I must, sell this grass.
Last time bro just nicked me glass.
Pounding heart, I must go.
Back here hitch the garbage stow.
Wish I could swirl and do the thwunk,
Like the kids, at high school dunk.
Pa left us months; for her sake.
Now mom is out, there at stake
Scar barged in, with her yesterday.
Slyly asked me, whether I'm gay.
Yanked me up by my scruff.
Mom when yelled, he left in a huff.
Wont have supper an no snack,
Messed the guy, tells me jack.
It's been months, the hacking cough.
Nothing at home but mamas snuff.
Li'l Johnnie plastered by a freight
What shall I do …I'm only eight!
(Islamabad)
(June 04,2009)
http: //www.acpp.org/sevents/0604.html
http: //www.irct.org/Default.aspx? ID=3558&M=News&NewsID=1391
A thought provoking and some thing need to be at this hours..... let your poem open some doors..........
The 'in your face' colloquial style of your delivery works very powerfully to communicate your disgust for the plight of children neglected by poverty, drugs and appalling parenting. The pity of it is that this eight year old is likely to perpetuate the scenario he has grown up with - he knows nothing else, after all. You speak from some experience, methinks. There is a baldness and honesty about this write. It rings dead true. Great poem. love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
It’s been months, the hacking cough. Nothing at home but mamas snuff. Li’l Johnnie plastered by a freight What shall I do …I’m only eight! Oh! So good to go thru.....I liked your way of expression...It's so free flowing.....A very contemporary poetry on a very important topic.....Brishti
If you are going for an american then don't use nicked me glass that's english slang. Listen to some Biggie Smalls, tupac etc, also lil wayne for more recent american street slnag. Also go for less commars in sentences. I would have said she didn't have much to say and and no but next sentence, it's good doesn't need it. She seemed distant, taut. No need for we lost tim etc, it's implied by next line. Back here hitch? Pounding heart i must go, Back here ditch? ? Not sure why you used hitch Don't use Pa or Ma, white trash america. Love the line mom is out there, i'd go for tied to the stake. Implies drugs, prostitution which i believe you were going for. I would also leave out the last two lines. My opinion only. I'm going to read some of your work about your country. You can write. Samantha
dear saadat, a highly emotional and a passionate write, about the young generations problems.their innocense is lost in exposure to a world, not meant for young children to face.yet, it is their world.lovely poemsaadat.best wishes. ritty
'Like the kids, at high school dunk. Pa left us months; for her sake. Now mom is out, there at stake' i like this part! i luv ur poems and this one is very amazing!
Furtively search for the hook. Each side carefully must I look. Is there a cop in my sight? Is there a route for my flight? precious word gift in the form of poems on international day.. lovely write... good presentation.. read mine child, school, and teacher no please....
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Saadat, Thank you for the message my friend. This poem 'Im only eight' made me cry, the passion in wich you wrote it is simply astounding my friend.I cannot imagine seeing the things you have seen or experincing those things. Please know this poem touched me Deeply i emailed it to my mother, she is in the process of being published. she also said it made her cry. Thank you for sending it to me your friend in poetry Barbie