My head is spinning around and around.
i dont know where to turn, or if i'll be found.
i dont know who i am, or if theres a cure,
i seem normal, only looking back in the mirror.
...
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this is a very moving poem. It is very graphic, and as I read the words I see the scene play out in mind. I do hope that you realize that you are hurting yourself to feel. I am not going to lecture, I am not goiong to judge, we all have our moments, (that is what we call them) our times of despair, pain, lonleliness, etc.... and everyone deals with things differently.
I agree this is a very moving poem. and you are not insane, its easy to go through patches of life where you want to block everything out, make it go away, become numb or block out all feelings, it can be related to, its a darkness that varies in degrees for everyone