I'M Lost Comments

Being lost can give you the will to find who you are and exactly what you want in life. Every experience no matter how hurtful hopefully gives us strength to bring clarity into our lives.

adding some words after Jack Black's and Daniel Brick's comment has no useful point.. so I stop here with a.. Thanks for sharing.. ;)

Your poem shows the strength as well as confusion of the speaker - she may be lost but she hasn't despaired and she won't give up. She's already taking charge of her own rescue. There's a dizzying quality to your description of running toward whatever feels familiar like the street sign, but it's better to keep moving rather than giving up. And that's what the speaker does - keeps moving until she finds herself! There's a lesson in that for all of us. By the way, I read Jak Black's comment - he gave you sound advice about tightening the poem - a generous reader.

The subject matter is good, the rhyming is great, you're losing the rhythm again by putting too many words into some of the lines. Try to use the same number of syllables in each line, or each pair of lines, Melissa. I'm cold, I'm lost, I'm in the dark. All alone in the open park. I walk, I wonder, where to go For this is a place I do not know. There isn't anyone around, Not a soul, not a sound. I look up to the starry sky, And feel the teardrops in my eye. You can add or take words away and still get the message across. Hope you're not offended by this comment.