Sunday, May 29, 2005

I'M Here Comments

Rating: 4.0

I'm in some dark place here,
don't know where to go....
I can see you,
but only so faint
...
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Sally Nesmith
COMMENTS
Lawrence S. Pertillar 25 June 2005

I like your work very much!

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David Zvekic 29 May 2005

This poem builds up a lot of dramatic tension prior to the conclusion. I think the final sentence 'all you do is stare at a photo of me...' would be more emphatic if it was not broken up into 6 seperate lines. but rather into 2. all you do is stare at a photo of me. Very good effot.

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Sally Nesmith

Sally Nesmith

Savannah Georgia
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