Thursday, November 20, 2008

I Just Realized Comments

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I just realized
I don't care
I just realized
You're unfair
...
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Victoria Ayres
COMMENTS
Brandon Owens 06 May 2010

I really like the feeling of this poem, I think you have the ability to express it a little more sophisticatedly. I think you should take the time to try and rewrite this one. Maybe use the repetition to build the rhythm a little better, in some places it gets broken up.

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Victoria Ayres

Victoria Ayres

Norfolk VA
Victoria Ayres
Victoria Ayres
Norfolk VA
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