I hope that you are my last love
Though I do see that you are not forever,
That your heart doesn't belong to me
As mine does belong to you.
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Saniya, I like this. The speaker's emotions shine through. Maybe change I will have to refuse FROM you to more idiomatic English. Perhaps the poem would improve with some strong and original figures of speech (the Phoenix simile is a little trite.)
If you'd like, check out my new website:
jeffersoncarterverse.com
I'd like to know what you think of it. Yrs, JC
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Saniya, I like this. The speaker's emotions shine through. Maybe change I will have to refuse FROM you to more idiomatic English. Perhaps the poem would improve with some strong and original figures of speech (the Phoenix simile is a little trite.) If you'd like, check out my new website: jeffersoncarterverse.com I'd like to know what you think of it. Yrs, JC