Tuesday, April 3, 2007

I Fall Comments

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I sit here high in my tree.
My gaze travels and far do I see.

Murder makes headlines,
...
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David Daykin
COMMENTS
Isaias Rendon 03 April 2007

I like the play on words with rambling on about wars and commenting on other things. Needs some line breaks though and some capital letters have to be lowered like poor. I like how the form backs up the subject matter and relays the meaning. At the ending fall could stand on its own and still hold water without the ellipses. Something to think about.

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Rachael Orme 03 April 2007

I like this poem, because i like the way the poet keeps going back to the line 'my grip weakens, a finger realeases' and uses that to bring all the other injustices and sorrows in the poem do to a personal level, down to you and me. Cool! !

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David Daykin

David Daykin

England
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