I Do Not Own A Porcupine Poem by Richard D Remler

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I do not own a Porcupine.
It'd be hardly worth a nod.
No, I do not own a Porcupine.
Does that seem rather odd?

They seem to be quite popular
Amongst the ill advised.
But I do not own a Porcupine.
Please don't be too surprised.

I do not own an Ocelot,
Nor does an Ocelot own me.
If one ever did, then I forgot
The entire history.

It would appear to me an Ocelot
Would be far too wise to let
Anybody quite like me
To have one as a pet.

I do not own a Kangaroo.
And I wonder if, indeed, you do.
For though I've heard good things today,
Not a one has crossed my way.

I do not own a Crocodile,
Although I hear they're coming back in style.
I cannot fathom the thought or fear
Of a hungry Crocodile near.

And I do not own a Pink Giraffe.
I never thought it wise
To have a pet who has of yet
His head up in the skies.

I d not own a Paradigm Puck.
I tried raising one without much luck.
They required far too many T's,
And I'm very selfish with my A's and B's.

I've never owned a Grizzly Bear.
To own a bear seems so unfair.
Bears should be free to roam the land,
And ought not to be owned by man.

I do not own a Pelican.
And I've no excuse, you see.
As to why I own no Pelican,
And why no Pelican owns me.

I do not own an Anteater.
I've never owned a one.
Although, the thought, I must admit,
Sounds like a lot of fun.

But Mom would throw a fiery fit ~
She'd yell and snap and storm a bit.
And if she ever thought I'd venture it,
She'd send me to the brig.

I do not own an Elephant.
I doubt one would ever let me.
But if I were lucky, and they did,
It never would forget me.

No, I do not own a Great Horned Owl.
They hoot, they screetch, then tend to scowl
And perch themselves upon a tree.
No, an Owl would not work for me.

And I do not own an Antelope.
But I've seen one on the news
Using all its hoofs and things
To count its ones and twos.

And it was smart, this Antelope.
It counted every number right.
And I've yet to see another
Antelope even half as polite.

I do not own a Three-Eared G'Nute.
They've neither head, nor hair, nor eyes to suit
Those crazy things a pet should be.
No, a Three-Eared G'Nute would not suit me.

I've never owned a Tak-Raccoon.
I've never been so opportune
To find a find so rare and queer,
And see a Tak-Raccoon out here.

I do not own a Purple Preen.
They're seldom heard and never seen.
But I"ve heard that they are loads of fun,
And no, I do not own a one.

And though I almost caught one near the Willow,
I do not own an Armadillo.
If I did, I'd sneak it in the house
And hide it underneath my pillow.

But that critter, it just whisked away,
Quicker than a Summer day.
And I guess that's good.I guess that's fair.
I'm sure Mom would have found it there.

Nah, I don't own a pet around here.
My parents made it very clear ~
At least that's what they thought or thunk
When I brought home that Hog-Nosed Skunk.


Copyright © MMX Richard D. Remler



**A Children's Tale**