I Can’t Compete With All Your Damn Ideas Poem by Christina Ramirez

Your the failure laying heavily on my shoulders, I don’t feel the support you claim to give to me. One hand pushes me toward a succesful future, yet the other holds me back. You smirk and try to make me guess what your thinking, but I can’t read your mind anymore. Your like a sideshow clown just traveling through with your fake smiles and friendly claims that you try to fool me with. But I see through your makeup, it chips off with every lie you tell me and I can see you. A face I know as well as my own, yet you give me two paths to walk. You point in one direction yet nod in the other. I throw my arms in the air in frustration and only anger escapes your pores. I do this for you! I’m letting you live through me! Let me make this stupid mistake! Let those wasted years dwell on my head like a rain cloud. Stop trying to control what I do, your ripping me apart vein by vein and I’m at the breaking point of whether or not being around you is the best for me. I love you more then words can say, I am a carbon copy of you and at times ashamed to say so. But your becoming walls closing in on me day after day, and my edge is at my fingertips. I’ll leave one day without the slightest of nods, won’t look back to wave goodbye or come back and give you a friendly hi. I can’t take any more of what you have to give, your sucking the air that you gave me. And one day I’ll finally give it back to you.