How To Become A Performance Poet Poem by DM W

How to become a performance poet:
First spike up your hair and get it dyed blue.
You must make an impression. Go for it!
Hire someone who plays the didgeridoo.
Then you'll need a suitable pseudonym.
Like Dommy Rotten or Sinister Sue!
Embrace absurd notions; forget wisdom.
Add everything to your poetry stew.
Be the ultimate con artist, until
Even the Emperor's New Clothes will
Have nothing on you. O never stay still:
Keep changing; keep on seeking novel thrills!
And remember to compose doggerel
And other assorted nonsense performed
In a quirky, sometimes wild way. O to hell
With well structured verse! You'll go down a storm
If you break all the rules; try it, you'll see.
Next, you'll require a pack of cronies
Who will wax lyrical about your work.
O they should sing your praises constantly!
And most importantly, be greater jerks.
Than you. All in all, it should be easy
To make a quick impression: just ad lib,
Tell a few coarse jokes. I'm sure they'll clap
Your mad offerings; the cut of your jib
And none of them will dare call your act crap.
Forget nuanced diction, simply scream out
Your meagre scribblings; and let it all out.
O you will become hackneyed style without substance
With devoted disciples in abundance!