despretly yet so patiently
waiting for the time to pass by
so i sit here and write
my thoughts of mind
...
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I liked the list of simple, happy memories, and the repeated rhymes and the little bit at the end was a nice addition.
I'm not very hip, being a rather old-fashioned English chap so I find these raps you write, most clever. You must tell me the secrets of 'rap' poetry- as you clearly demonstrate, it can be very powerful.