Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Hopeless Addicts Comments
Rating: ★3.0
I can see it in your eyes, theres something you must say.
It will be ok.
Please don't go away.
I want you to stay, but your moving so far away.
...
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7/25/2025 4:34:52 PM # 1.0.0
there are a few nice lines in here, but the rhyming is far to obvious and distracts the reader away from the subject matter, i would suggest you revise the poem, and edit it, choosing less subtle rhymes. Its a good piece to start with, yet with a little more care you could make it a great poem regards Vincent