Homesick Poem by Allysyn Bryant

Home is where you're suppose to be
Well, at home.
Where you go after a long days work
Where you end your day, kiskback, and relax
Home, sounds nice, right
With your family. Your stuff. Everything Familiar
Somewhere that you can be yourself
Be Comfrontable. Be Happt
That's what home's suppose to be right?
Well.................what happens when its not?
What do you do when you don't have a home?
What do you do then?

It's funny how everyhing seems like it's falling apart
When really nothings changed. Everything's the same
True, There's more people in the house
True, now I'm with a different guy (he's really great)
True, i'm doing well in school
False, I'm happy and content
But Why? I don't actually know....

It all started just what some consider resently
Honestly, I can't seem to keep track of the time
My past haunts me, even though there's really nothing
Nothing, I'm done majorly wrong at least
Yet still, at night I sometimes cry myself asleep

I have friends. I have family. And a boufriend too
All of which deeply care for me
Considering some people in this world
I've gotten lucky. ANd fortunate too
So does this make me greedy?
That the fact after having all this
I'm still unhappy
It's like a deep, Dark, Black hole is inside me
That's still burning. Like something's missing
I ask myself what it is....
The only that comees to mind is....
That I'm missing home, homesick
Homesick for a home that doesn't exist.

My closest brother is gone
The only one I share a mother with
Who also played as my best friend
Left me behind
He tried not to. I understand
He had to leave. Couldn't take it anymore.
It hurts, cause I know that nothing is gonna be like before

Years ago, My brother. He was happy
Never even thought of leaving
that's the last time I was home
For a whole 15 years he was my home
Strange to admit, I know

But he was the oneI ran to, talked to
I was always happy around him
He was the one there when our lives fell to [pieces
And there he stayed until that last dreadful day
The day he decided he couldn't stay
Bye Bye Dear Jimmy

Ever since I stood there and watch him
Watched him walk out of my life and fly away
I've had this burning hole inside me
They all left. My parets. My brother
They were my home. My family. My Life
I depended on them, thought not anymore, I can't...
Reality is coming down fast and hard now
The way I; ve been living my life these last few years
It's like I've been in a dream
These Thing I do everyday
It's all too much. I'm always working
Thinking ahead. About other's needs, irgoring my own
I'm tired of working
I miss home. I wanna go home
Only one thing
My home's gone. Destroyed. Walked out on me
I have no home to go home to
So now I sit here, homesick.

November 7,2008