Her Soul Meets Her Mommy Comments

thanks again for the Poet's Notes. i've left comments earlier. the poem still has some, fairly-minor, English flaws. but it is already in MyPoemList and now it shall go into my PM November showcase, not submitted yet; i've just submitted October's showcase. continue to excel in school..[you do excel, i suppose]...and to enjoy books and poetry. Thanks, Hira. bri ;)

These 2 sets of lines are my favorites: Breeze in and catch a glimpse of your withered flower come and water it vigorously with your love and affection O mommy! ! AND: Yess honey, come to me! ! Mommy spirit says devotedly spreading her arms, There both souls meet Daughter to mommy Mommy to daughter Together forever and ever................VERY NICE! ! ! ! ==================== i also especially enjoyed: Bursting head, with severe pain Like a balloon overfilled with distress and misery.........though i'm glad it wasn't MY head! - - - - - - - - - - - - Dreaming, the procession funeral of a corpse laying in the casket, ............here, laying should read lying; a lot of native-english speakers make the same mistake i believe. ============ hira, this may be to poem i like best of your poems which i've read. thanks for sharing. i'll send it to MyPoemList now. bri :)

Very emotional indeed and It has vivid imagery and makes me to think the girl who called mummy was me

U write like a prodigy.! Dis is awesome touchin n d metaphor poetic.! Imaginativ of barzakh. Where's yor mommy? Do coment my latest poem pls.

vivid imagery and deep emotion make this poem a great one. a mature write

Dear girl your feelings are too maturer than your age. Souls' meeting is heart-rending. You have quite nicely penned your feeling quite nicey. Well-done and keep it up

Extremely touchy..you crafted emotions in words with excellence: -)