Her Hair Is Like Root Beer Licorice Comments

You had me at the title. I am, however, a big fan of repetition. This reads like a song or a choral reading. I like it, a lot.

Shannon, I like several of the images here (lines 9,11,14-15) . Not sure that repetition of ephemeral works; in fact, cutting it might tighten the poem. Line 17, you've used the wrong word, should be lying. Nothing makes a reader distrust a poet more than a usage error! However, lots of potential to this poem. If you have time, check out my new website: jeffersoncarterverse.com Tell me how you like it. Yrs, JC