Her Comments

yes i agree with the first commenter and the second as well... youve got potential and i liked this better than your last one.

Mike, it's my pleasure to read your poem and comment on it. I agree with what Wilkie has said. But for a begginer this is a great poem and i see you have a great potential. This is a very good poem, and keep reading lots of poetry, which will help you to improve your skill. Nice job Mike. Peace, Arsiema

Thank you for asking my opinion, Mike. It's a good first draft. Check you use of ('s) it's incorrect in many places. Only use a capital G for God. Anything more is not good form. There are several places where you repeat the same thought and you should remove them. It will make for a tighter poem. Not bad, keep writing; it's the way we get better as poets and be sure to read a lot. Have a great Fourth of July. mfwilkie