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Powerful. Powerful, powerful words.

I liked the rhythm of the poems. And the powerful words

Wow, what an incredible powerful poem this is. Well done. The despair and lonely desperation hits the reader more deeply with every word. You feel so deeply, and care so much, that is evident. Difficult subjects to tacke, but real and dark and not to be ignored at all. keep writing. x. a ten from me.

Love it but agree bout the rhythm, your really not far off try this on for size (hope i'm not being too presumptious) : She walks round with scars for all to see, Proves her life is full of misery. With a razor blade, the door is locked, Only thought now is she just can't stop. Help her fight addiction He tries to block them out, But the rumors start to spread, and shout. He kills himself in his despair, The pain was just to much to bear. Help him fight his suicide She runs and screams down the hall, Though no one can hear behind the wall. She cries at things daddy does late at night, She tries to run away, but she can't win this fight. Help her fight abuse Her blue eyes look all around, Her blonde hair blowing towards the town. She knows that she can help them all, But no one is willing to hear her call. Help her find a way.

This poem is plainly written. In fact, it is too plainly written. There is nothing in here to recommend as far as something someone should spend time on. The rhymes are the best element, but because there is no rhythm, the reading of this holds no special experience for the reader. That said, the message is a good one. GW62