Hello Poem by Courtney Caine

Hello in there can you hear me can you hear my screams can you hear my cries do you see my pain do you see my scars.do they scare you to.they scream at me make them stop.they live like monsters under my bed am to scared to look knowing they will get me so i hide under my covers like the weakling I am from my enemies that wish my death what do i do I can't fight back their to strong.I walk these halls waiting watching they'er there I know it I can feel it the hate they have for me I scream why do you hate me what have I done you don't know me I don't understand the insanity grows in my mind my screams for help are not answered am drowning that it yeah thats it drowning, drowning in the hate that so many have for me. why is this happing all i want is to be me.why do you want to change me am i that bad.please just leave me be.were i can be me.All that i have to live for is my friends they are the only ones that care.For them I will live and only for them.My love goes to you and only you.But life is getting so hard to live with the pain that i feel daily are starting to kill me.Its getting hard for me to find the will to wake up every morning.The only happiness that I have are when my friends are happy I live to make them smile when i see them smile i can finally allow my self to be happy but i fear I can no longer make them happy they lie to me and i know it the days are getting longer for me I think am dieing yet I can't feel so i wouldn't know I bleed I can feel it but when i look i see no blood.I feel nothing sometimes i hurt my self to see if a still alive.But theres pain from something long before.All i feel is pain but when the pains not there i feel nothing making me wish for the pain to come back so i can feel again.I don't understand anymore and am to tried to try.When I cut myself i don't feel the pain I don't feel anything all i can do is watch with a sick smile as the blood runs down my arm the pain thats suppost to be there was not so i stopped no longer interested my thoughts turn to death. my love for death makes so many fear me give me a reason to live and maybe my love for death will lessen.