Friday, September 26, 2008
Hearth Behind Comments
Rating: ★0.0
I left my heart in Gothenburg,
golden rich leaves and crystal breath.
I walked beside you,
hurrying to keep up,
...
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7/27/2025 6:05:10 PM # 1.0.0
Nicoletta, I like this and the opening line is really catching. It has a lovely musicality to it but I feel that it reads much better if you take out the line 'deep blue sky bathing on us'. ' hurrying to keep up' has a much better feel to it and it creates a bit of ambiguity within the poem as a whole.