Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Haikus (The Moon) Comments

Rating: 4.9

The moon stared hiding itself,
The night was sitting
Nude in the balcony
...
Read full text

Naseer Ahmed Nasir
COMMENTS
Naseer Ahmed Nasir 13 October 2009

Message from Lillian Thomas: From: Lillian Thomas (Houston United States; Female; 60) To: Naseer Ahmed Nasir Date Time: 10/10/2009 8: 39: 00 AM (GMT -6: 00) Subject: re: 6 Haikus (The Moon) Dear Naseer. 6 haiku, lovely little poems, miniatures of brilliant poesy, but not haiku, if you mean the Japanese form. I don't mean the We have many English writers who try their hand at this form, thinking it is only 5-7-5. But to be at all true to the form, the Japanese use no poetic devices, esp. no anthropomorphism. The images are stunning without calling them haiku. Sincerely, LT

0 1 Reply
Sandra Martyres 10 October 2009

Delightful haikus Naseer, you have really brought out the poetic magic of the Moon..I too liked the Suicide one...brilliant.10

0 1 Reply
Louis Rams 09 October 2009

your haikus show the beauty of the moon so clearly. a double ten

0 1 Reply

They are all highly original and the first one I found particularly provocative. Like the other poets, the suicide one is wonderful. I enjoyed the last one too where the moon feels exhausted. 10 love Karin

0 1 Reply
Sandra Fowler 08 October 2009

Beautiful Haikus, Naseer.The magic of moonlight cannot be overestimated. Each one is extraordinary in its own way, but the suicide one is my favorite.10/10. Warm wishes, Sandra

0 1 Reply
Antonio Liao 08 October 2009

if someone feel each lines your poem say....it's a magical sublime of refreshing mind....something secret that relaxes the mind and the nerve....such poem brings the rainbow down to surface our teary world.....God bless.....a 10 +

0 1 Reply
bye bye... bye bye 08 October 2009

I liked them all, very much, but especially the coconut one and even more the suicide one. A refreshing way of looking at the moon. I read these tiny poems as separated from each other. I suppose you wrote them at different times?

0 1 Reply
Sahar Sahar 08 October 2009

Very softly touching and romantic poems with delicacy, and sentimentality, exuberant with heart felt emotions......

0 1 Reply
Kranthi Pothineni 08 October 2009

I hadn't read till date such a lovely romantic piece, specially on moon. Terrific imaginary. Tones of appreciation to you and the translator too.

0 1 Reply
Lillian Thomas 08 October 2009

beautiful images! good word choices!

0 1 Reply
Kesav Easwaran 08 October 2009

different shades of moon...colorful all...thanks...10

0 1 Reply
Raj Nandy 08 October 2009

VERY NICE HAIKUS! 10! -Raj

0 1 Reply
Patrick A. Martin 07 October 2009

If I were teetering on the edge of a cliff and suddenly I disappeared would it not be natural to assume I may have jumped and if I jumped would it not be considered suicide. Who says the moon has no heat a ligt bulb emits a milky glow but try changing it after it has been on for a while and see if your hand doesn't get burnt. I like this work Naseer even though I'm not fond of this form of poetry. Perhaps because I'm not clever enough to be good at it.

0 1 Reply
Ravi A 07 October 2009

Excellent imagery but for two points - 'milky heat' and 'the moon committing suicide'. These imagery do not suite to romantic taste of man. Moon doesn't instil such a thought in man. You should have read one of the stories of Mopassant wherein the moonlight plays the central character of a love story. Having read that, this imagery do not go at par with it according to me.

0 1 Reply
Carol Gall 07 October 2009

very good haiku..........

0 1 Reply
Poetic Soul 07 October 2009

A interesting translated poem, I appreciated the whole imagery.10/10

0 1 Reply
Samanyan Lakshminarayanan 07 October 2009

various shades of the moon in these lovely haikus

0 1 Reply
Rehana Nazli 07 October 2009

Fascination about the moon both in poetic world and astrology is never ending story. An interesting translated poem.

0 1 Reply
Joseph Poewhit 07 October 2009

The moon does have it's phases

0 1 Reply
Close
Error Success