Beautiful haiku! It's a little but powerful. In my point of how is a soul can catch his own lover. Thank you ma'am for sharing!
This spider vs. flower seems a bit symbolic to me. The spider spins this intricate and rather geometrically beautiful trap to get what he wants out of life- food in this case. Life scoffs at his hard work and sends a flower drifting into his trap instead of something he can eat. Not only that, but the very presence of a pretty flower blossom caught in the web warns the fly, the lady bug, the butterfly that there is a web strung there so they go elsewhere. All that spider's hard work has gone to waste all because a flower drifting by got snagged up. Poor hungry spider! I think however that the flower is happy with what she has accomplished. This haiku was fun! ! ! ! I got a whole story out of its three lines!
pity the flower it struggles so mightily and all is in vain bri :)
Thank you Fabrizio for your guidance.It is very helpful for the learners like me.
well.. I took it as a blossom.. but there are no indications in your verse about the type of flower.. therfore it's not a real kigo. Yet, it can be accepted for haiku written by non Japanese as we are :)
It is wonderful that you know KIGO, the Japanese word for season word, and other essential knowledge about haiku. I invite you to look at my short series of haikus, JULY RAIN IN SEATTLE.
''A spider designs'' sounds more as an 'interpretation'. The 2 images in juxtaposition, following the 'toriawase' technique, should show a bit more 'clear contraposition' (even if 'subtle') , with a kirey as a division, so to express a proper balance.
the syllabic pattern is respected and the images are clear. Yet, a classical haiku is not much lyric, usually (tanka is) .
Spider tries for its prey...but alas! gets a lovely flower.....that is the breathtaking lesson from your haiku...man proposes, God disposes..I think this you wanted to convey perhaps...10 marks to you for your innovative thoughts...
A marvel of nature's manifestations portrayed beautifully through this verse. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for your highly valuable comments.They are very encouraging.
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7/25/2025 12:57:37 AM # 1.0.0
Though it is your trial haiku yet it is a beautiful haiku with touching expression, the essence of the poem is too nice. Thanks for sharing.