thee ascend towards sun
Tempted by the shining light
Eventually consume you in her
Feel the gloom of the dark night
...
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this poetry incorporates style of beautiful poets like Shakespeare and Campbell...............I'll take time to decipher these lovely expressions, , , ...............WOW.WOW.....WOW...
i see that i missed what i think is a misspelling or misused word in the line Towards the end you swiftly role. i would write roll, not role. roll can be a noun (a type of bread) or verb (like a ball rolling) . to me (without checking my dictionary) role is a part an actor has in a play/movie. i came back to this poem after receiving a nice message from the last poet to comment, shahzia batool. so i read and approve of her comment (of course!) and peeked at part of this poem again. i DO have high regard for kanav justa, even though i don't praise this poem. bri
yes, the rhyme-scheme is not ab ab but ab cb if we apply this rhyme-scheme to all stanzas separately, as 2nd and 4th lines are rhyming together in all stanzas. Mr.Edwards comment is honest and it might help you take a high and fearless fight somewhere in future.It is better than a simple praise. In poetry sometimes we concentrate on conveying the point in mind and not on grammar, that is also not bad, but grammar helps us paint the images better, and we all are learners. As far as understanding is concerned, nobody can claim to touch the deep-structure of the poet's mind, that's why poetry is open to interpretation.sometimes we can pick a line, like: Watch your footsteps where they go! ! !
the main problem i have with this poem is I DON'T GET IT. that could be my fault. ? ? am i wrong, or does another commenter incorrectly call this an ab ab rhyme scheme? ? i don't mind the rhyme scheme in the poem (i really like rhyming) but i don't see how it is ab ab. anybody agree with me? and what does clemency of time mean? and should death conceal read concealed or conceals? tell me the truth. and i believe swiftly role should be swiftly roll. it DOES seem that a lot of people like the poem, so kudos to kanav. i'll look for one i like better. bri
Loved the rhyme-scheme ab ab and the deep thought also. the usage of simile is terrific!
Dear Kanav Justa, In craftsmanship of good poetry you have travelled a lot and have found a steady device style. I admire your diction and feel happy that poets like you are a great pleasure to be found over here. This poem is a yet another feather on your cap of fine writes.
The lines you constructed very strong ones, with the pillar of meanings and thought...the words arrangement.. and it just a new thing i see in you, a new way you tell in poem_Soul
I feel emotion yet power in these Greedy Eyes. Thank You Kanav