Saturday, September 29, 2007

Grateful Daughter Comments

Rating: 5.0

You wake up early, every morning
To assist us in everything;
To touch us with your caring hand
And kiss us before you see us gone.
...
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rio monica canlas
COMMENTS
merc gabriell 29 September 2007

a heartwarming poem. made me miss my own mother. come to think of it, i haven't written anything about her. the poem flows in continuity. the stanzas support one another from beginning to end. nice way of starting the poem from the time the mother wakes up 'to assist...in everything' and ending it with the daughter's expression of gratefulness. the poem tries to encompass everything about the mother in six stanzas. although it is not clear why the grateful daughter says she misses being with the mother. perhaps 1-5 stanzas should be written in the past tense? i think the last line could've been written in a better way, something that will give the poem a more dramatic, lingering effect. and the slang 'coz' for 'because' sort of ruins it. still a good work, though. just sharing some feedback, if you don't mind. ps: i liked the line 'you are better than paracetamol'. i think all mothers are. especially 'pilipinang ina.'

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rio monica canlas

rio monica canlas

Kabacan, Cotabato, Philippines
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