We are grains of sand
In the shoreline of this life
Small fine grains that breath
We live for just a moment
...
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Small fine grains that breath We live for just a moment In the memory of time. do u believe in rebirth.... grain washed away reached the depths of the sea and then reappear on the shores............. is it rebirth or reincarnation? ? thank u dear poetess. tony
Mesmerizing Tanka (3) , most beautiful, Nudershada! I am so impressed by your words as: We are grains of sand In the shoreline of this life...Excellent metaphors must I say. I have revisited this poem. Thank you so much for creating. A 10 and much much more!
This poem uses the metaphor of sand to show how we exist.
Bri is right about 'breathe'. Still, three tankas that compare people to grains of sand near the ocean of life. Brilliant extended metaphor.
(cont.) ..2nd stanza: i think it should say Time washes.... and i also think of waves washing things onto the shore rather than into the ocean, but i'm not sure of all the water-movement technicalities! ! ! ! Gee, i don't know that i'd like going to an abysmal depth. it could be too cold and/or dark for my tastes! :) ok, i guess this is an allegory/metaphor. i like it, taken 'literally' or symbolically. nice. bri :)
i think a common error: breath (the noun) should be breathe (the verb): i used to make the mistake, but now i think of the 'long E sound' in 'breathe' to remember that it is the word ending in e. breath and breathe are pronounced a bit differently, in case you didn't know or can't tell the difference. i know a Japanese woman who can't tell the difference between some English words which are spelled differently and pronounced differently. (to continue) ...
Being aware that we are grains of sand in the shoreline of this life....Amazingly thought, the idea that we live just a moment in the memory of time....WOW! That's truly great and impressing. I love all 3 Tanka, all 3 are as graciously created and thought thoroughly. This is another tender poetic creation of the cycle of life. You are quite a philosopher, Thank you for sharing these mesmerizing Tanka, Nudershada.
A striking opening metaphor-'we are grains of sand'. Then we get swept out into the ocean of sorrow, but get back to the shoreline of hope. Brilliant.
A beautifully lyric poem of mans insignificance in tide and time great piece thanks
No matter how beautiful the sand. Time respects everyone equally. When beauty is lost, it is soon replaced. and life goes on. A beautiful poem to ponder. Thank you for a great write.
Beautiful poem about the new sand which appear in.Life..A thought provoking write
A very imaginative write of great depth. The flow and wording are just fantastic. Beautifully crafted write which captures the essence of life.10
We are grains of sand In the shoreline of this life.... We live for just a moment In the memory of time Truth of life. Loved this, goes into my favorite list of poems.10 +
New sand grains appear In the shoreline of this life As new life begins....This magnificent poems flies by the wings of hope! A great composition dear poetess! Top score and to my favorite!