Gone Away Comments

Be who you are and write whats comes deep inside your heart, I love how the way you put the words together if there is a mistake to be corrected should be better to send you a private msg. however i like it a lot its was not bad at all. keep up the good work.

Overall, this seems like the poem of one who is an intermediate writer. Not quite a beginner, yet not an expert. The first stanza is very strong, as well as the second stanza. Yet the third stanza is what makes the poem go downhill, even almost killing the piece. The lines 'I learned my friend has moved away' is much too obvious, especially the following line 'My loss is more than words can say'. First, you can show that someone close to him has left through the use of figurative language. The reader does not need to be told that the narrator is sad because it is a natural human reaction that is generally understood. 'That she would always be' is a vague line. The word 'thief' is spelled incorrectly, so is 'stripped' and 'lonlienss'. Many of the stanzas seem to ramble to me. This topic has been very overdone. The best thing that I could possibly do to this poem is take out every stanza except for the ones that start with 'In a drawer', 'There under all these memories', 'I compose myself' and 'Noticing it now has stains'. It mentions not what the person is upset about which can expand its interpretation. It is short and the reader knows the emotion. The title is self-explanatory. The author should critique and edit the poem. Doing this will make it better.

great piece..written with great feelings...i like the way you make poetry...Hope you can also take a glimpse of my 'Love had Gone Away...'thanks. a 10 for your piece...

Hello Howard: As I said, I like the way you start this one. Those first four lines are sheer genius. Still reminds me of mine called 'Everybody Has Had Somebody' which I did go ahead and put on. Hope you like. Adeline

Beautiful poem. I like it. Thank you for calling my attention.

A heartbreaking poem that gives a true message from the heart.

Hello Howard: I like the way you start this one. Thanks for the comment. Your poem reminds me of one of mine called 'Everybody Has Had Somebody' which I should put on but then I could do this all day and where would I find the time. Adeline

I love the poem.... It's hard to stop things from changing..... And the best we can to is wish them that will be happy for their decision.... hehehe.. but let's force them to stay... hehehehe

It is a sad fact that everyone who happens in our lives are temporary. Nothing lasts forever. A well wrtten verse written in the true sense of loss. Give you 10! ...Excellent verse

Nice poem i like it. it is a very emotionally filled piece of writing. thank you for sharing. :)

Amazing write! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! all the strong emotions come through. it is sad though that it takes someone leave for us to realize how much we value them and not appreciate them while they are still with us. Vey wise Poem. : -) Wanelisa

Great poem- nice comparisons

This is a wonderfully written poem. The loss of a friend is hard I think many ca relate.

Hello Howard, Beautiful, poems... And sad but it is pleasant to read... 10... Best wishes, Tsira

This is a lovely bittersweet poem Howard. Bittersweet because you realize how much your friend means to you...sad...because she's gone. My heart goes out to you. Hugs, Dee