Monday, November 21, 2005

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She looked into his eyes, hurting
Her lips still pursed, flirting

She took a step forward, halted
...
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Wayne Guy Butterfield
COMMENTS
Rupa U 14 January 2009

Very touching, especially the last two lines. Couplets are seldom come across in modern poetry. Thank you for resorting to the classiform style of writing, the eternal charm of which cannot be denied. A well-structured and expressive poem. Congratulations!

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Jim Valero 26 December 2005

The use of rhyme in the poem is very suggestive, like an emphatic counter-point to a scene of lost love, an impassé in a relationship in which there was nothing else to say. The economy of language, & the short descriptive phrases, also help to suggest the very few things to say left between the two lovers. Good work, Gayne. Thanks for sharing.

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Mary Nagy 21 November 2005

I love how you've structured this Wayne! Great poem..........I love the rhyme. Sincerely, Mary

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Jon Lloyd 21 November 2005

Nice work, again, Wayne. Love the consistent use of rhyming (and slant-rhyming) couplets, which in no way detract from the beautifully sad (but universal) story. Powerful! Jon.

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