Crumpled paper and a split pencil,
Inspiration longed for,
And scribbled emotions.
Horrible writing!
...
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The first five stanzas unleash all that pent-up energy that gets bottled up inside during the tense writing sessions. It's probably better for a writer to be self-critical rather than vain and complacent. This writer who is speaking your poem truly wants to connect with an audience and keeps second-guessing their reactions as unfavorable. Actually this audience is quite supportive. But she is still doubtful of her success at the end when the writing begins again in earnest. There's a light tone, almost jocular, but you are dealing seriously with this issue of communication with your audience,
You have perfectly put into words what all of us writers think and feel at times! You are a wonderful writer and you have the added advantage of finding your talent at a young age! Never stop writing. Especially if you feel it deep in your heart! Your gift can take you far if that is the path you decide to wander down.