From Death To Life Comments

Your relentless endeavours to make your body pure Have fallen to failure and your mind is left unsure.. a beautiful and fine poem. thank u for your philosophy of life. good and evilllllll right and wrong. God and the evil......... than ku dear poet. tony

i like the rhyming, but, as i may have told you [[i've told others, about THEIR writing]], i think poets sometimes strive to complete rhymes to an extent that the rest of the poem suffers, particularly [for me] the understandability (i made up that word) of the poem. i.e. i do not understand your meaning in several areas of the poem. perhaps i'm just not thinking the way you do, OR perhaps you aren't spending enough time considering how clearly you are expressing yourself. proofreading is a key to good poetry often. i find myself doing a lot of editing sometimes, even at times after i've submitted a poem. also, punctuation (improper OR lack of it) , coupled with capitalization of the first word of EVERY line can at times cause a reader to have to back up to be sure they understand where a sentence/thought ends. it seems some of your lines are disconnected; they do not seem to logically (?) follow one another. bri :) favorite lines: Or is the end only bound to be itself And therefore we should savour all our health And in turn savour all our wealth And strive to read all the books upon our shelf

A nice poem away from key bonking and concluding is very strong- last two lines - Shall be the thing that you forever define, As long as moons glow and suns shine very soothing to ear and mind...thank you