Found Comments

Kelvin, this is great but if you want to be more dramatic or convincing, you need to give attention to the use of punctuation marks. Sometimes we take it for granted and with the poetic license a poet has, the punctuation marks also suffer., Try considering the use of commas, the use of exclamation points and the use of period in this particular poem, especially that you use the seeming staccato style.

I like this poem, it has depth and meaning - excellent.