Monday, May 29, 2017

Forgetful Comments

Rating: 2.0

I am the worst kind of forgetful.
I want to remember how to know you,
I want to remember all your syllables
and string them together like fairy lights at sunset,
...
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COMMENTS
Jefferson Carter 29 May 2017

Maya, I like this quite a bit. The similes and extended metaphors work well. Stanza 4 seems weak and flat for some reason. Maybe revise if for sound and meaning? If you'd like, check out my new website: jeffersoncarterverse.com Let me know how you like it. Yrs, JC

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Ravinder Soni 29 May 2017

Liked reading this poem conveying simple thoughts simply said.

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Maya Hanson

Maya Hanson

Fenton, MO
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