First Attempt At A Love Poem... Comments

I really like this poem. I think it's great.

Lovely images. My only criticism is of the way you have structured some of the lines: 'dont take my love forgranted like so many do the sun not appreciating and almost expecting its daily offering of light and warmth' This reads as if you could be saying, 'Don't take my love for granted, like so many do. The sun not appreciating and almost expecting its daily offering of warmth.' What I think you mean is, 'Don't take my love for granted, like so many do the sun. Not appreciating its daily offering of light and warmth.' I would humbly suggest that you either use punctuation to separate your clauses or keep each one on the same line. Nonetheless a really nice poem.

Wow... That was a really pleasant poem to read. It flows well and each verse easily leads to the next. Can't believe it; s your first attempt. Much enjoyed Steve