Sunday, January 2, 2005

First Comments

Rating: 3.5

Nothing is as sweet as a lover's first kiss.
Not the chocolate on Christmas day.
Not the fresh grapes of harvest day.
Not the cream on apple pie.
...
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Warren Augustus de Guzman
COMMENTS
Sandra Osborne 03 January 2005

Better, definitely better. Sometimes a rhythm needs a word or two left our. This is excellent until Line 8, then it kind of bumps along. Still, a good effort.

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Herbert Nehrlich1 02 January 2005

I think Manuka honey applied to lover's lips might come close. H

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