Feathers Comments

fine poem. the ending is good.. i like it.. very much.

we all expect to die but if one so young faces death, it is all the more painful especially to the parents.... there is a peacefullness in the poem, a resignation even, and faith remains strong till the end....

Hi Ravi - A very poignant poem on a very moving subject. 'Dead doth hide but not divide it is as though the rose that grew upon our garden wall has blssomed on the other side'. You use of metaphores is excellent. V1 'The bird has flown' V2 'The room is empty' V3 'The flower has fallen'. In V4 we sense his aspirations 'He too had a world' however in V5 'He inched towards death'. In V6 you face reality 'The game was finally LOST'. V 7 is the denoument: 'Rains are over now - The valley hath fallen into silence - And in the whispering air - A song of dreams allures'. A fine poem with excellent structure and rhythm and a very poetic use of words. MAX - Yours in poetry - JOHN.

very nice and touchy poem. thanks for sharing. this poem really stirs emotion.

Ravi, you have an innate talent to write stories in verses! Excellent narrative poem, lovely rhymes, touching........ 10++++++++++

soul stirring write.. the innate loss of hope...emotive in tone

A heart wrenching poem from a talented poet. The imagery is superb and the poem will linger in my heart for a long time.....10 love Karin

Feathers left, shadows of remembrence, some just catch the early train in life.

well structured poem.........poignant feelings. But I think this could have been reduced atleast by one stanza for a better effect.

such a poignant poem shared yet marvelously written.....To fight against a deadly disease is so hard and accepting the truth that life is to end that way is much devastating to the patient more to the love ones.....yet after so many hardships and pains due to illness, death is the silence and calmness of all........... 10/10

the poem is good, and as aldo kraas has said, its not the same as elton john's pigeon skyline song, but it has got the similar kind of feel..

I know where you got the Idea from? You got the Idea from Elton john song Pigeon Skyline. The worlds are Let me loose from your hands Let me fly away into the sky. I can remember all the worlds. I gave youthe two lines of the song that I remembered

the bird hath finally flown...a few feathers remain....deep lines.....cancer and its treatment hazards gives me a deep pain...a few months back my dad died of cancer...or rather not able to withstand the treatment he died....in just a month i could see a 10 to 15 yrs older man in him...it wears you down.....a torture of a disease

everything has an end. but too soo is cruel.nicely written and poigant. voted10 surya

everything has an end. life after death is unending...this is sad but we cant do otherwise to stop the call of death...

Yes a 'melting moment' I am sure Ravi - -to hear words as sad as these - - 'the traveller has now gone' is a summation of the tragic loss of one so young..... thank you for sharing these personal moments with us....... Fay.

feel sad, as a poem that is so beutiful nice job luwi

sad but so beautiful words 10

Silence went the air, and the feathers laid to rest. What a sad but touching piece to mark the occasion.