Father Africa Comments

Great message...but history as gone its up to you to forge ahead...forget the white man of yesteryear now is the time to get together...the Romans shackled us all..Love too see Nigeria get ahead only if you all pull together...good luck...regards

A great poem brother. But my rivers follows a course that ends its long and tireless journey in Judith Furedi's sea.

A great poem brother. But my rivers follows a course that ends its long and tireless journey in Judith Furedi's sea.

A great poem brother. But my river follows a course that leads into Judith Furedi's sea

Good message - there are a few places where I would work on using imagery instead of direct sentences. As they say, 'show, don't tell.' Like find similes or metaphors for words like dejected and despair. Describing how despair feels with other words, painting a picture would be so much more effective - and of course poetic. If this were prose, it would not be necessary - but in poetry, for me - that is important. You are a good poet and have great potential. You just need to use the tools of poetry - you can start thinking in a different way. For instance, 'sorrowful' - that's a word that is too general. If, instead, you describe something sorrowful, indirectly, it would really be powerful. Think in terms of painting pictures in the mind with words - pictures that evoke strong emotions! I hope I helped - and don't take anything personally. It is just meant to make you even more awesome than you are! Good luck to you! You just keep at it! Judith

A very powerful poem. A great write. The white man as a lot to answer for.