Farm: A Mom, Three Girls, Two Cigarettes, And A Sparrow Comments

And it hit me like a rock, As this loving mother smoked her first cigarette. It was like my best friend died And deep in my heart I cried As quietly she lit up and smoked another. ............i have read this far, so far. i really like this set of lines. i know smoking is, let's say, frowned up, in the u.s. compared to when i was a kid (you as well; ......no, i don't mean you are frowned upon) . but sometimes i have to remind myself that a cigarette may help a person get through the day or the hour or life. yeah it is smelly (though i kinda like cigar and pipe smells....from a distance...like chimney smoke, ya know? ....mixed with perfume or aftershave?) . and of course we've all been told how unhealthy it is to smoke, AND god forbid exposing kids to secondhand smoke! [also beware of snuff and chewing tobacco! throat and tongue cancer! ! ! ] [i believe tobacco farmers, and others, still get government subsidies or price supports.] back to the poem. i don't understand the latter half of stanza 4 of part 1. perhaps the poet's note will help, BUT the note is soooo long, not to mention the poem, that i may not get to it. && that was a sneaky way to plug Atari! no shame? ha ha. (and yourself of course) ============================= Fifteen years though now have past, Oh, My God, they went so fast, There’s been no word, but no doubts am I pursuing. ...............my wife took an email address from a young couple who went way out of their way to help us foreigners (who were 'lost') when we visited their country (thailand) . she took some photos of them and told them she would send some to them via email. alas, my wife never did. she lost the names and address. perhaps that happened here? nah! instead............... ' when the C-note passed into her hot hands, she dreamed of smoking more expensive brands. :) bri - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - these are nice: A sparrow made a mockery of all knowing. To start off the hood is hot, A place to rest, it is not, Yet he seemed quite content as I ran my courses. ................AND 'growing/knowing' AND 'horses/courses' - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - the stanza containing this line (and also several nice, nicely-spaced rhymes) is a winner. Then I thought, ‘He likes me, ’ and I stopped feeling gruff. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Of brotherhood like I’d felt in the restaurant. ..............i was wondering what you would rhyme with restaurant, but by the time i got to taunt the first time i read the stanza, i missed the rhyme. got it now. ===================================== well, i'm not always thinking of sex; REALLY. but i've heard enough farmer's daughters stories and jokes (years ago) that i wondered how i could write a poem with this title. it might have turned out very differently........'cept i don't smoke. but maybe one of the girls or mom would. thanks for sharing. bri :) [ i still didn't read the poet's note; probably won't either] ok............8 3/4 score for this one.

I hope somewhere the lady of your write breathes better....and that you cared enough to step forward....it's own Devine intervention..On another note...if someone hasn' t anything positive to offer, rating poems or otherwise, why be sabotaging in their nature? Do not let their actions discourage your gifted writing. PEACE

I don't share your Christian view, but loved your work here! a 12 out of 10 to me! thanks Brother

nice written with a rhythmic flow. an imagination arise in the mind and carries towards another land. really you have expressed a real incident ho an imaginary tale.

This is a heart-warming story. It demonstrates your concern for someone who was on a path to self-harm. Even though she was a stranger, you reached out to her with your God-given compassion and wisdom.... very touching.