Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Fall Breath (Rhymed) Comments

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We sat in the fake lights of the city,
talking,
simply talking and looking back
on our lives
...
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Katherine Rhodes
COMMENTS
Ivan Donn Carswell 29 October 2006

For me this version is not as effective as your unrhymed version. It is certainly well crafted but doesn't seem to have the same sharpness of imagery.

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Katherine Rhodes

Katherine Rhodes

Beaver Dam, WI
Katherine Rhodes
Katherine Rhodes
Beaver Dam, WI
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