Faded Friendship. Comments

I really liked this, i was THERE! i liked the exuberance of the first verse, especially. The regret at the end is unbearable, though!

I can relate to this one. It's strange how a part of you wants to re-connect with the person, but you know it won't happen. Too much has changed. Well crafted piece.

faded friendship lost for ever not to be repaired or something else nice poem.. God forbid for faded friendship luwi

Hi John - A very poignant poem about a common but regretful experience. We all become 'Semi-detached suburban Mr Jones in the end! . The rhyme, rhythm and use of words are all excellent. Youth has no boundries - maniacs, chasing, kicking and yet in many respects innocent. Verse two moves on a little - lazy, crazy, lost and smoking. In verse three we grow up and our ways deviate. A sad list of lost friendship. A Stranger with a familiar voice and face. No longer - friend or brother. The last line is optmistic pessimism! 'BUT........... maybe we'll get our chance again in another time or space'. To improve the metre a little: Line 2. Add GIGGLING before screaming. Line 3. Drop OF Line 6. Add ALL before LOST. Line 7. Change - Smoking, scattering our minds until they were numb. Line 10. OK. Change to - But you no longer are my friend and no longer my brother. Best wishes - I'll score it TEN.