when i look into your eyes
i no longer see the love that was once there,
all i see is pain and sadness
when did our world stop turning?
...
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Nicely written. Love does pass quickly, and seem to leave the bitterness behind. For this, you have encompassed it wholly into your poem- and how difficult it is to actually be just friends in the end. In this case it seems like both parties are really hurt, up to the extent that they may be in denial of their feelings, as seen from:
'neither of us seem to care'
Some improvements could be on the punctuation marks. Punctuation marks may at first seem a hassle to add, as sometimes, you cant put it in the right place. However, with more practice, and more adding of it, you will actually realise that it is actually a good addition to your poem! You can use it to help add flavour to your poem, as well as phrasing. So if you have time, you could try putting some in!
A nice poem. May you continue writing and relish these experiences!
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Nicely written. Love does pass quickly, and seem to leave the bitterness behind. For this, you have encompassed it wholly into your poem- and how difficult it is to actually be just friends in the end. In this case it seems like both parties are really hurt, up to the extent that they may be in denial of their feelings, as seen from: 'neither of us seem to care' Some improvements could be on the punctuation marks. Punctuation marks may at first seem a hassle to add, as sometimes, you cant put it in the right place. However, with more practice, and more adding of it, you will actually realise that it is actually a good addition to your poem! You can use it to help add flavour to your poem, as well as phrasing. So if you have time, you could try putting some in! A nice poem. May you continue writing and relish these experiences!