Eyes Comments

It is very simple yes. Yes try not to repeat words if you can. I know it is hard sometimes to use other words. I use a thesaurus when I have trouble find other words to use. I did enjoy the idea behid what you are writing. Keep writing.

In your final stanza you use the word ' eyes' 3 times in 5 lines, as well you use the word ' world' 3 times. It comes across as laziness on the writer’s behalf because it's really uncreative. Please don't take offense, but this piece reads a lot like a Hallmark card, it needs more passion... Always, Amberlee