Explosive Souls Comments

The references to laughter, pretense, play seem emotionally cool and therefore the circle widens, but once again the opposite movement happens immediately. The explosion of course is a trickster - it probably blows both man and woman far apart. But after the explosion the scattered pieces will float invisibly and perhaps remingle. Perhaps the reconstitute both partners.

This poem circles around itself, sometimes in concentric circles moving outward, other times circles, spiralling in, getting tighter and smaller. And that image I've pictured is a counter image to the EXPLOSION image which eventually blows up my image, and the poem itself. Your poems are long, and my response is like Robert Schumann referring to the HEAVENLY LENGTHS Schubert's last symphony. Of course, to be heavenly the length has to be consistently enjoyable and meaningful. Otherwise, Schumann would have said, Damn him, this is too long! I'm not being flippant, because length in Lyric Poetry is always an issue, as you know better than I do being a composer of song lyrics as well as lyric poems. But in this poem length gives you the space for this circling: the first outward circle is the reference to another woman out there, more suited for him (?) . but the first inward circle comes very quickly - it's the HONEST DESIRING burning in both souls which leads into the image of intense driving, like desire it doesn't take you anywhere but it heats things up.I don't know but the image of getting high for free strikes as moving outward, but immediately after the image of being attracted to shining things and the offer of REDEMPTION/RESURRECTION drastically spirals in - tighter. That moment stunned me.

Well said. So many grabbing lines. I love these lines Got a sparkle in your eye, Telling me the wonders of your mind, Telling me the troubles you've been through. Yeah you had a rough past, you say you were bad. Here's your redemption, Your resurrection. look forward to reading more of your work!

Just read your beautiful poem and loved it! Rated it 9/10. 'I can't help but swoon, For a man like you. Cause I'm like a bird, Free and attracted to things that shine. And you shine. Got a sparkle in your eye, Telling me the wonders of your mind, Telling me the troubles you've been through.' - These are some of the many beautiful lines that charmed me. And the last two lines are really explosive!