Existential Agony Poem by Yaroslav Shtets

The hands were shaking, mind afire, tearing thoughts apart;
The heart of mine was beating in the rhythm - unconventional and fearful, exuding pure sorrow yet so vicious, irresistible for me;

The frame of mind could make a 180 in the mere flash of time whilst being so unstable, either dwelling in zeal or facing total abrupt aggravation no one could foresee;

Whereas the smile - once distorted in the silence over me, was never truly spared but rather tortured by untenable reality and utter disbelief;

And in the eyes - the story truth, flickering dispassion, the void of agony waiting for reincarnation - was always there in an outrageous stare, craving for alleviation.

Though I never felt the way I did in yesteryear, the time did pass with a petty alteration yet so dim to realise with no oppression.
And in the world demanding to be ruthless, the tempting features it proposed were all denied,
So the compunction was approaching slightly, moving so unkindly towards me.

The choice was one - to perish subtly, yet I lived, withholding the refusal like a trigger from afar;
By still beholding ups and downs in retrospection, the glow of mine was the only revelation,
Whilst facing constant pressure - it had the opposite intention.
There was no hope but simple doom - omnipotent reflection;
So, the mere way was a breakthrough in personal salvation.