Tuesday, September 27, 2016
Everything's Good Comments
Rating: ★5.0
When it gets dark and the lights start to fade
You lock the doors and we hide in the shade
The smoke of your cigarettes is filling the room
My paradise is hell and your heaven is doom
...
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7/21/2025 11:36:15 AM # 1.0.0
There is much poetry in what is unsaid in this piece. You have much talent with imagery and the management of the reader's attention. A humble suggestion to consider as you continue to write, you are so good with drawing your reader into your vision, you should practice some pieces without the constraint of rhyme or meter (perhaps you have, and I am being presumptuous- I will continue reading your work and discover my error if so) . I would love to see what you do with that. Bravo!
Thank you so much for your words :) Oh yes I've tried to change my habit of rhyming a little recently and will I'll continue doing this :)