Every Day... Poem by Lesa MRK

To My Baby Lakotah

Every day and every night I wonder what will it be like to hold you,
Cuddle you,
Kiss your soft little cheek....
Every day and every night I wonder what it will be like to gaze into your eyes,
Will they be like daddy's?
Will your smile be like brother's,
And will you have your sissy's laugh?
Every day and every night, I wonder if your eyes will twinkle,
When you hear me say, 'I love you, '
As I tuck you into bed,
And you rest your tiny head...
Every day and every night I wonder....

And due to circumstances beyond my control,
I cannot help but wonder,
Will I ever get to see or hold you at all?
Will you ever hear me speak your name and kiss you goodnight?
And I cannot help but wonder,
How could I once again say goodbye?
Before ever being able to say hello....
And if I could bear your loss, as tiny babies sometimes go?
I think of the others.... and I wonder..... why....
I think of you..... and I pray... this time... please....
May my sincere hope and my prayer be heard-
Every day and every night I wonder.....

(Written Nov.22,2002- Sadly, I lost my baby Lakotah James on December 6,2002. It was my fifth and final loss.)

(October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Please light a candle in memory of our precious little ones, lost yet forever remembered and loved @ 7 pm on Oct.15th)