Ever remember? Poem by Vanessa Uwimanzi

Do you ever remember how we hit it off instantly?
From the very first day,
You became a very big part of me.
Do you remember how trapped we felt in our emotions?
Pure love in the most unjust conditions.
We made promises for the mere future that we weren't guaranteed.

Do you remember how we just couldn't stay away from each other?
But then everything was just lost in the hole of time.
It just happened against my realization.
You knew I only had eyes for you!
But you didn't look at me the way you looked at her.
And so I let you slip away, only to find you again.


Damn why couldn't we just let go?
It would've saved us from all this hurt.
I just had too many expectations.
But everything went from bad to worse.
It all ended before it even started.

I could feel you becoming distant. I could feel not feeling you.
My fears were growing strong, but I dismissed each one of them.
Because I trusted your love at the time.

Now if I could go back, I'd change everything.
I'd change loving you more than myself.
I'd change caring for your feelings more than mine.
But most of all, I'd change being stupid in the name of love.
If my eyes could talk, they'd tell you how much I cried when you left me,
If my heart could talk, it would tell you how broken I was.


My mind would constantly make me see false reality,
And my heart would just fall in the trap.
I still can't seem to get out of this phase of confusion.
My mind has all the reasons to love you,
My heart has twice as more to hate you.
If only you could see my insides, and see the pain of loving you.


Now, to believe in love is not my game no more.
Because I've always thought that distance and conditions don't really matter.
I've always thought that what matters is the heart that loves.
The heart that is willing to move in patience and a clear vision of priority.
But it was all a dream and I get that now.
Because when I opened my eyes, I saw your true colors.
You didn't love me. It was all just a lie.

I gave you nothing but time and the greatest care.
I never left you. I was always just there, waiting for you.
But you left, and it seemed so easy for you to do.
I had the biggest heart. But now it feels small without your love.